(The class was a little noisy, so a combination of difficulty hearing and pronouncing the a in ball as an o led to this misunderstanding. Here is the conversation that took place:)
Boy Student: “Teacher, she said he didn’t have any balls?” (pointing at a boy student. I turned around and saw that the remark came from a girl who knows English quite well. I didn’t think she knew the idiom “doesn’t have any balls” so I pressed on…)
Me: “What? How does she know?”
Boy Student: “She felt his back. No balls.”
Me: “What?” His back?” (Now I was really confused)
Girl Student: “Yes, his back”
Boy Student: “No bones“.
Me: “Oh, bones!”
| EFL
Busan, South Korea
(I am asking students to write questions for me to answer in the school newspaper. The most interesting will be answered. Among the boring and interesting ones is this gem, signed with their name:)
Student: “How often did you make love with someone?”
(Many years ago some students had a bit of confusion over words after I gave one of my students a cough drop. The dialog was as follows).
Student 1: Wow, you know she isn’t sick.
Me: Oh, yes, don’t worry it’s just a “placebo.”
Student 2: Oh sick, isn’t that the stuff that comes out of a woman during childbirth?
Me: What? No! (Shaking my head)
Student 3: (Quickly, adds) No dude, it’s one of those fancy outdoor garden buildings.
Me: (Sit down, laugh and think ‘and I have to teach them Spanish’)
(Some answers to the “What is this for?” worksheet my 6th graders were doing.)
First aid kit: Sick people help
So far so good!
Radio: Listening people listen
I suppose they do!
Teddy bear: Cry baby good job
Not sure about that one…
Rope: Helping dangeruse people
Indeed.
Cupcake: Cupcake is happy for me.
We all are.
Discuss your course evaluation plan (use the following guided questions).
–Who would you involve?
–What method/s (open-ended questionnaire, checklist, survey or other methods) are you planning to use?
–What criteria would you use?
–What would you do with the information you collect?
Part II
Include the open-ended questionnaire, checklist, survey or interview questions (depending on the methods you choose).
Me: What job do you want in the future?
Student: A chemist.
Me: Why?
Student: Because the medicine, the pills, they are so cute.
Me: How do you kill a vampire?
Student: Kimchi!
Student: Trick-or-treat, sir!
Me: Happy Halloween!
Student: (Blank look) You have to give me candy now.
Me: (Mock outrage) Who taught you that?!
Student: You did. Last week.
(Teaching the difference between the Jr. and Sr. suffix)
Me: If the father’s name is Martin Luther King Sr. what is the son’s name?
Student: Martin Luther Princess!
(Many years ago, I taught Spanish at a middle school that required all 8th grade students to make a pinata. This was a home project and the pinata was to be of a culturally appropriate item (i.e. donkey, sombrero, guitar, etc). The day they were due, students began bringing pinatas into my room early in the morning. I noticed one pinata in particular that was attracting a lot of attention. When the boy who had made this particular pinata came to class later that day, we had the following conversation.)
Me: Would you like to tell me what your pinata is?
Student: I think you know what it is.
Me: I have an idea, but I would like you to tell me what it is.
Student: It’s a penis, and you’re holding it wrong.
(While studying Konglish jokes.)
Me: What do you call a broken bicycle?
Student: Made in China.
