Stuff My Students Said

Rules

tdomf_3b434 — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 13:23:33 +0000

While discussing class rules I asked the students to write some of the rules they have to follow at home on the board. One students response…

Student: Think about Stephanie

Me: So, do you have a rule that you must think about me, or you must not?

Class: Uncontrollable laughter.

40% of American Snowmen reported to be obese

tdomf_3b434 — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 02:24:07 +0000

Me: (drawing a typical snowman on the board, 3 circles and such)

Students in uproar: NO TEACHER NO. ITS TWO. TWO!

Me: two? nah it’s 3. In America we have 3 big snowballs.

Students: that because American fat.

Korea and Japan

tdomf_3b434 — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 01:44:44 +0000

I was introducing myself to my class and had them fill out a “Facebook profile” worksheet to tell me about themselves. I showed them face book pages of popular people.

Me: Even Pikachu is on Facebook.

Student: Pikachu is from Japan! F*** Japan!

The Co-Teacher them whapped the kid on the head, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Teacher, he f#$% me!

tdomf_3b434 — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 01:43:58 +0000

My 3rd grade middle school students love flipping each other the bird. I asked one of my high level classes what they think it means and they had no idea, just that they saw it on TV and it looks cool.

I explained that it meant “f#$% you” and said that I don’t want to see them doing it in my class because I don’t like it.

A few weeks later I’m in the middle of explaining something and Dong Woo flies out of his chair, yelling, “Teacher, teacher!”

When asked what’s wrong, he points at Min Hyun next to him and says – “Teacher, he f#$% me!” meaning Min Hyun flipped him the bird.

Needless to say it took all my power not to collapse right there and then!

Spineless

admin — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 06:34:27 +0000

(The class was a little noisy, so a combination of difficulty hearing and pronouncing the a in ball as an o led to this misunderstanding. Here is the conversation that took place:)

Boy Student: “Teacher, she said he didn’t have any balls?” (pointing at a boy student. I turned around and saw that the remark came from a girl who knows English quite well. I didn’t think she knew the idiom “doesn’t have any balls” so I pressed on…)

Me: “What? How does she know?”

Boy Student: “She felt his back. No balls.”

Me: “What?” His back?” (Now I was really confused)

Girl Student: “Yes, his back”

Boy Student: “No bones“.

Me: “Oh, bones!”

Lovely Question

admin — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 13:35:37 +0000

(I am asking students to write questions for me to answer in the school newspaper. The most interesting will be answered. Among the boring and interesting ones is this gem, signed with their name:)

Student: “How often did you make love with someone?”

Oh, the words sound alike!

tdomf_3b434 — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 13:26:38 +0000

(Many years ago some students had a bit of confusion over words after I gave one of my students a cough drop. The dialog was as follows).

Student 1: Wow, you know she isn’t sick.

Me: Oh, yes, don’t worry it’s just a “placebo.”

Student 2: Oh sick, isn’t that the stuff that comes out of a woman during childbirth?

Me: What? No! (Shaking my head)

Student 3: (Quickly, adds) No dude, it’s one of those fancy outdoor garden buildings.

Me: (Sit down, laugh and think ‘and I have to teach them Spanish’)

What is this for?

tdomf_3b434 — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:16:32 +0000

(Some answers to the “What is this for?” worksheet my 6th graders were doing.)

First aid kit: Sick people help

So far so good!

Radio: Listening people listen

I suppose they do!

Teddy bear: Cry baby good job

Not sure about that one…

Rope: Helping dangeruse people

Indeed.

Cupcake: Cupcake is happy for me.

We all are.

Discuss your course evaluation plan (use the following guided questions).

–Who would you involve?

–What method/s (open-ended questionnaire, checklist, survey or other methods) are you planning to use?

–What criteria would you use?

–What would you do with the information you collect?

Part II

Include the open-ended questionnaire, checklist, survey or interview questions (depending on the methods you choose).

Breaking Bad

tdomf_3b434 — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:15:08 +0000

Me: What job do you want in the future?

Student: A chemist.

Me: Why?

Student: Because the medicine, the pills, they are so cute.

Vampire Repellent

tdomf_3b434 — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:14:03 +0000

Me: How do you kill a vampire?

Student: Kimchi!